2nd Rough Cut

After our audience feedback, we have produced a second rough cut of our piece aiming to address some of the issues:

• We have re-ordered the whole trailer and taken out some shots to make it less clear that the mother dies and that the elder brother dies to keep some tension and to avoid telling too much of the story
• We have shortened all our clips to try to create pace
• We have added a drum beat to keep a sense of movement in the project as we continue to edit
• We have made the end section less chronological and tried to cut to keep pace and tension

Potential Magazine Cover Photos

When looking at other examples of film magazine covers, we noticed that there are standard poses that are used. Groups of three are often posed in this way, with the main character in the centre and a little further forward, usually directly on to the audience. The other two characters tend to turn away a little. We also noticed that the main character gazes directly at the camera while the other two tend to look off into the distance. We have also grouped this with the brothers closer together and the father a little apart - this has two functions. it gives some indication about the state of the relationships, and it also avoids a totally symmetrical feel, which we have noticed is a common feature of magazine covers as they have a fairly loose layout.

Composition of Poster Photos

These photos are not properly lit but we are using them to get an idea of how we would like our poster photos to be composed and the facial expressions we need to use. We have idenfied these as the two main things that will dictate whether our photos are successful or not.

Response to Initial Feedback

On re-watching what the Year 12s saw, my initial thoughts:

Some of the scenes were to long (or appear so without the voice over that is clearly needed).

There needs to be a voice over to bring context to what has happened and what is happening in the trailer itself.

The car crash scene is terrible and needs to be redone with more fluidity to make it seem like it flows and doesn’t stop start with bad continuity.

Too much story told

Comments on audience feedback for our movie

Too much of the story is told, so we need to either get rid of some scenes, for example Miss Devlin (the mother) dying, or cut back on the amount of military shots.

Audience is split as to who is the person dying at the end, which could either be good or bad.

More scenes needed to be added to bring the full depiction of our story across and add pace.

Response to First Feedback

On re-watching what the year 12’s saw, my initial thoughts are…

-          Less fade to black shots - overkill here!

-          Needs inclusion of some much needed sound, e.g. voiceover, gunshot etc…

-          Fill in slight gaps on editing between shots

-          Include some extra shots to make the storyline more clear

-          Don’t tell too much of story – cut out some info

-          More pace, feels too long and does not have trailer tone
 

Comments on Our Audience Feedback

-          Need to take out certain parts of the story as we have included a little too much for the trailer.

-          Add in some much needed music and sound effects

-          Make it clear which character is which but leave a degree of mystery

-          They agree too much story told

First Audience Feedback

Our first rough cut was shown to a Year 12 class. It was explained to them that this was a very early stage so there are many elements missing e.g. music, effects, voiceover etc. They were asked to focus on whether our selection of footage conveyed a sense of the overall plot and the relationships between the characters.  By watching their faces we got a sense of reactions to different shots (which we could tell by the sound) and we could hear their discussion with the teacher afterwards. We thought it was a good idea to organise feedback very early because further down the line it can be more difficult to address major problems. We also felt the class would be more honest if we weren't there but the video gives a good sense of their reactions.

Whole Rough Cut For First Audience Feedback

Here we have put our versions together and got rid of duplicate shots. We are trying to get a sense of how the whole trailer will run and whether this is conveying the narrative to the audience as intended.

Initial Edit

We split the storyboard between us and created a rough cut of our individual halves:

George's Half:

Brendon's Half:

At the moment we are conscious that the trailer runs too slowly and that the shots aren't trimmed enough to create pace. However, at this early stage we are mainly looking to select the right shots from the many takes we have and arrange these in a rough order on the timeline. From this position, once we have put our halves together, we will be able to move into proper editing, looking at how the shots run together and the overall impact.